30 kisses: Aoshi and Kaoru
by Joey8
Summary: Written for the 30 kisses LJ community. 30 themes, 30 kisses, 30 oneshots about sapphires and ice. Aoshi Kaoru pairing. Chapter 5 and 6 up now!
1. Castles built on sand

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine, all credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

**About**: This is an answer to the challenge of the 30 kisses LJ community. There will be 30 one-shots to different themes, each of them should include a kiss of one or another way. We'll just see how it goes.

And now, let's get started!

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**30 kisses: Aoshi and Kaoru **

**Chapter 1 – Castles built on sand**

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Title: **Castles built on sand**  
Author/Artist: Diamantmaus aka. Joey  
Pairing: Shinomori Aoshi and Kamiya Kaoru  
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin  
Theme: # 16: invincible  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Rurouni Kenshin characters. All credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

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It was over. Completely. Everything was over.

The setting sun cast a reddish shine, bathing the countryside in ruby red light, changing the normally beautiful and peaceful landscape of the mountains into a gruesome blood-red part of hell. There was no escape from it, from the blood-red light. Blood-red was death and there was no escape. Not from death. Not from pain, not from reality.

And reality was bitter. Reality hurt. Reality was blood-red as well. Like the mountains. Like the setting sun. Like his hands as he carried the four heads of his comrades. Deeper and deeper into the mountains he walked, away from the mansion where this whole tragedy had taken place.

Maybe he tried to escape from reality as well, but then he knew there was no use to it. You can't escape from reality – even if you really want to. He really wanted to right now.

Reality hurt. Reality was gruesome. Reality was that he was guilty. Not only guilty for taking many lives from enemies. No, not only that. Reality was far harsher. Reality hurt and hurt made it impossible to live happily.

So he had not known how to live happily in the first place, but now he never would because he was guilty. He had killed his friends.

Not that they died by his hand, they were his comrades after all… had been…. Damn it. No, they had died at the hand of their employer. An employer who had betrayed them. It had been his idea to work for Kanryuu. And Kanryuu had betrayed them, had tried to shoot Aoshi – and his comrades had protected him, sacrificing their lives in the process. So he could live. He had killed them. Damn it all.

His knees gave way beneath him and he fell to the ground. Only now that he had walked for hours did he notice signs of exhaustion, his hammering heart, his heaving breath. Only now did he feel the cold sweat on his forehead and the somewhat irritating pain in his chest. It was his fault. All of it.

He kneeled back and stared at the sun for a moment. Red. Like blood. Death. His fault. Raising his gaze up to the sky he threw his head back and cried out. A cry of anguish and despair and he cried as loud as he could, startling a group of birds in a nearby tree into flying away, leaving behind only one single perfectly black feather that circled and spun in the air, catching the sun, absorbing the light, turning now red, now black, before it gracefully landed in front of Aoshi, leaving the former okashira to stare at it.

A raven feather. Black. Like the end. Like death. Death was black. But then death was red as well. Blood was red and blood was death. Death was leaving behind nothing, just a raven black feather on the ground.

And right there, where the feather had marked the ground, where the cry of his pain had split the air for a moment, did he bury his comrades' heads. Only the raven feather remained as a tomb stone. Black like death. Black like the night that had long fallen while Aoshi had scraped a hole into the earth, leaving his fingers raw and wounded, while the earth he had scraped away mingled with his blood. How appropriate.

And now he sat leaned against a tree, not thinking. Definitely not thinking, because thinking brought pain and reality and he didn't want that at the moment. So he was running from reality after all. Even if in the end there was no escape. But just for now. Tomorrow he'd face reality, just not now. Tonight he would not think. That was all he could get, all he could ask for in a reality that was as gruesome as death and as harsh as hell. But for now, not thinking was enough.

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He met her on a rainy day. It was his first day in Tokyo, weeks after he came back from the mountains, weeks after he had buried his friends, weeks he had needed to deal with this new reality. Weeks until he made a decision that should change his whole life. Because he met her, because of it.

It was a rainy day, his first day in Tokyo, and they met in front of her dojo. He stood before the gate, reading the wooden sign over and over again that announced to the world that you stood before the Kamiya-dojo. A kendo-school, teaching the Kamiya-kasshin-ryuu.

He had known before that she lived here, that her name was Kamiya Kaoru and she lived here with a group of misfits that included not only a pick-pocket and a fighter-for-hire-and-gambling-hothead and the opium-lady from Kanryuu's mansion, but also the Hitokiri Battousai which was the reason why he stood in front of her dojo now in the first place.

He came here to claim the title of "the strongest", to defeat the one that was invincible. It was the last thing he could do for his dead friends. It was the last and only thing he could to for them now. This was his decision. He would defeat the former Hitokiri and lay his sword down before their grave as a symbol of the title of "the strongest". That's why he came here.

He knew that it was her dojo and that Battousai most likely wouldn't be alone when he arrived, but still he was surprised as the door opened and she stood before him, an unopened umbrella in her hand, a bucket for tofu in the other one. That's how they met again. He had seen her before. She had been there, at the mansion, where he had killed his friends. She had seen it all.

Her eyes were the last thing he had seen before he had turned, running from reality. Her eyes were the thing that had kept him sane while he had stared down at his dead friends in the mansion. Her eyes like sapphires, so blue, so deep. Those eyes that now stared up at him as he stood in front of her dojo to claim the title of "the strongest". And while he was surprised to see her, her eyes held not a trace of this emotion.

In fact, she looked at him as if she had expected him, had been waiting for him. Her eyes were full of understanding. Not pity. Just understanding. Had there been pity, he would never have even considered to talk to her, but she looked at him in understanding. And so he talked.

"Kamiya-san." Nothing more. Just her name. Just an acknowledgement of her presence, maybe even silent thanks. For her look of understanding. She nodded and smiled at him. A real smile, honest and open. Nothing more. Just a small honest smile that reached her eyes. Smiling sapphires. He looked away. He couldn't stand this smile of honesty. When was the last time someone had smiled at him like this? He didn't remember.

"Shinomori-san." When she spoke his name he felt weak all of the sudden. Her voice was like her eyes in a way. Soft, flowing, understanding. As if she could read his thoughts.

"Would you like to come inside?" He stared at her and she returned his gaze without looking away. Had she just invited him in? Him? A murderer? Because that was what he was. She had been there. She had seen it all. Still she invited him inside. He took a deep breath.

"You were there… At the mansion." He stared at her. She nodded and her eyes were full of understanding.

"Would you like to come inside?", she repeated. She meant it. Her eyes were too easy to read.

"I'm here to defeat Battousai." His voice was harsh. Much harsher than he intended, but she didn't seem to mind. She was silent for a moment and he watched her. He could see her emotions in her eyes. He could see worry and an urge to protect. Battousai was her friend after all. She didn't seem like the kind of girl to stand by and watch. This kind of girl didn't have eyes of sapphire full of understanding.

"I understand." He was silent. Surprised. He hadn't expected her to understand. Not this time. Not when it involved her friends. But her eyes couldn't lie. She understood.

"However, the man you seek is no longer there. Battousai is history. It's just Kenshin now." He stared at her for a moment. Was she trying to stop him? Would she try to talk him out of it? But then, her eyes held only understanding, nothing more.

"You can come back later and find out for yourself if you like. Maybe until then you'll find the answer you seek." He was about to protest. He didn't seek answers, he sought revenge. The title of "the strongest" for his friends that had sacrificed themselves. For him. Her gaze silenced him though.

"I don't think that was what your friends wanted for you." He was silent. Right now he couldn't have answered if his life depended on it.

"Your friends wanted you to live. Being strong with a sword is not everything. It's not a reason to live. It's only an escape. It's running from reality." He stared at her. Was she right? Had he really been running from reality all the time? He had to think about this before he could face Battousai.

"I'll come back again." He turned without waiting for a reply, without looking back. He had to think.

"Wait!" He turned as he heard her voice as she ran after him.

"Here. Take this." She opened the umbrella and pushed it into his hand. Then she smiled again. A small but honest smile, before she turned and left in the opposite direction towards town. Aoshi stared at the umbrella above him.

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When they met again, it was raining again. It was still morning, and Battousai and the boy were out to catch some fishes in the river. She was alone. Aoshi knew that, because he had watched the dojo all morning. He needed to talk to her. Alone.

That's why he stood in front of the dojo again. Reading the sign again while fiddling with the unopened umbrella she had given him. And again it was her who suddenly stood before him, surprising him. And again she looked at him without surprise.

"Kenshin is not here." Her voice was flowing, as calming as he remembered it. It had been two weeks since he had been here the first time. Two weeks in which he had thought about her words. And now he needed to talk to her.

"I know." His voice was harsher than he intended –again- but she smiled and opened the door for him to enter. He stepped inside and she lead him into her house. Wordlessly she motioned for him to sit down on one of the cushions around the table. She left for what Aoshi assumed was the kitchen. When she came back she balanced a tray with a steaming pot of green tea and two cups in her hands. He watched her as she poured both of them a cup of tea and thanked her with a nod as he took one. She broke the silence first.

"Did you get your answers?" It was a simple enough question, but both of them understood the depth behind it. It was an easy question, but the answer was not easy. He was silent for a long moment before he shook his head no.

"I don't know." It was the first time in a very long time that he admitted such a thing. It was not a good answer, not a satisfying answer, but with her he knew it was okay. She understood.

He didn't avoid her gaze as she stared at him searchingly with those eyes of hers. Sapphires that could read your thoughts, your emotions. She sighed and looked into her cup, into the swirling liquid of green tea as of it hold the answer to all questions.

"What is wrong with being strong with a sword?" His question was soft, almost a whisper and for a moment he thought he had only imagined that he had said it out aloud. But then she looked at him again and smiled.

"Nothing. There is nothing wrong with being strong with a sword." She smiled at him and he stared.

"Then why?" Why had she said it was?

"I didn't say there is something wrong with it. I said it's not a reason to live. There is a difference." She took a sip from her steaming cup and Aoshi thought about her words. Maybe she was right. Maybe it wasn't a reason to live. But he was in depth to his friends who had sacrificed their lives to save him. This was the only thing he could to for them.

"You know, there are other ways to be strong as well. It's not all about swords and weapons." He looked up at her, searching her eyes.

"What do you mean?" He had voiced the question before he thought about it. That was strange. Normally he thought about everything he did. But then, he had never before talked to her. She was someone who could put your life upside down, this kind of girl. For a moment Aoshi wondered if she had already started.

She didn't answer his questions with words, but she put her hand over her heart and patted two times. He understood. Yes, he did. Strength of the heart was another kind of strength. He knew that, it was just that he couldn't achieve this kind of strength.

"I don't have one of those", he simply said. She sat her cup down onto the polished wooden surface of the table and smiled. Then she stood up and rounded the table to kneel down at his side, leaving him to stare at her. When she took her hand he flinched as if in pain, but she just waited until he looked at her again and smiled. Then she put his hand over his heart, pressing it down with her own hand, both of them feeling his heartbeat.

"But you do, Shinomori-san. You do. You just don't know how to use it." And this was the answer, he realized in an instant. The answer to everything. A defeating truth. After a long moment he nodded. She let go of his hand and stood up again and he did so as well. She lead him to the door again and he followed her in silence.

He bowed at her shortly in silent thanks for both the tea and her words and she smiled. Then she pushed the umbrella into his hand again.

"It's still raining. Keep it. You can give it back when we meet again." He looked at the umbrella but didn't open it. Then he turned to leave. After a few steps he stopped though and turned around again.

"Why did they do it?" His friends. Why had they protected him? He needed to know the answer and she was the only person who could give it to him. "Why?"

"Because they wanted you to live." Simple. Just the truth. And a lot of understanding in her eyes. Her eyes of sapphire.

Suddenly there where tears in her eyes, running over, rolling down her cheeks. She was crying the tears he couldn't cry, leaving out the pain he felt, giving place to hope. And he watched as the sun broke free of the clouds and the golden sunlight kissed her tear-wet face. Then he turned his mouth in what had been the closest to a smile in a long time.

"Thank you, Kamiya-san." He left without another word. He wanted to think again. Now he knew the answers to his question. He knew them, but he didn't understand them completely yet. He'd think about them and figure it out. Now that he knew what he needed to understand, maybe he could comprehend.

Maybe he would be able to fulfil his friends' wish after all. Maybe.

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The end

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A.N.: So here is the first one shot. I hope you liked it. I had fun writing this, even if it was depressing on some parts. Now on hindsight, I think there's some OOCness, but I hope it's not too much.

Please leave a review, ne? Constructive criticism appreciated, flames not.

Until next time, Joey


	2. The colors of you

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine, all credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

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**30 kisses: Aoshi and Kaoru **

**Chapter 2 – The colors of you**

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Title: **The**** colors of you**  
Author/Artist: Diamantmaus aka. Joey8  
Pairing: Shinomori Aoshi and Kamiya Kaoru  
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin  
Theme: # 15: perfect blue  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Rurouni Kenshin characters. All credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

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(From Aoshi's POV)

In her diary, the only memento I have of her, my mother always wrote that there is a certain color to every person, to every situation and to every emotion. Until I met you, I never believed it. In my past there has always ever been black. Black memories, black thoughts, black emotions.

Sometimes there was a certain flash of white.

Sometimes it was a sudden feeling of hope that maybe in the end it all would work out – followed by the blackness of reality that it never 'worked out' before.

Sometimes it came with the defeat of an enemy, the feeling of triumph over an opponent, the euphoria of a won battle – followed by the blackness of reality about another man's blood on my hands, another life taken by me.

Sometimes it even came with the absence of pain. Yes, as a fighter you had to endure pain as well. It was seldom that you would leave a battlefield unscathed and when you were in battles all the time, like me, you would be in pain all the time too. Even the few moments when there wasn't pain were followed by the black realization that I can never have a normal life.

What 'normal' man has taken as many lives as I have? So I'm not an assassin, but I won't hesitate to take a life if necessary. And in my job it was necessary quite often. I wished it wasn't…

So I always thought the world was black and those flashes of white were just an illusion, because white was always followed by black.

When I met you for the first time it was on the blackest of all my black moments. The deepest black of all.

So maybe technically there is no blacker than black, just as there is no lonelier than lonely. But I know better.

There are different shades of black, just as there are different shades of grey. But grey would still imply that you have a certain amount of white hope. In my world there was no room for hope.

My world was black, blacker, blackest. Different shades of black. I have seen them all.

When I met you for the first time it was my blackest moment. The moment I stood in Kanryuu's mansion and my friends got killed one by one to protect me. _Me_. A black person. And I couldn't do a thing, just watch. Black in its finest, deepest, darkest shade.

It was the moment I needed a flash of white the most. Anything, anyone, if only the tiniest flicker of light. And it came.

It was not a flash of white however, it was a whole bonfire of it in the form of a young woman. And what was more surprising for me: it –you- stayed.

When I met you, I finally had a light to hold onto. A light that explored, illuminated everything of me, in me, around me.

And with this light, with you by my side, I finally saw colors in this world. For the first time there were colors. My mother was right after all. There really is a color to everything.

The first color that I noticed was, of course, blue. The blue of your eyes, perfect sapphires. Liquid burning blue, calming silent blue. Everything is blue in your eyes. Even me when I'm close enough to see my reflection in your eyes.

Then there is still black, the blackness of your hair. This was a completely new experience to me. For me black was always a cold color, drawing the light, casting darkness. Everything not good was black. But your hair, the color of a raven's feather is no such color. It's a warm black. A soft black. A beautiful black. Soft and beautiful like the velvety blackness of a night in your arms.

Your skin is the color of milk, soft and sweet as a peach. When we grew closer I was so hesitant to touch you, afraid to infuse this perfect milky surface with my darkness. When I told you about this you just laughed and told me the many colors you see in me, how much about me is not black. And I took your hands in thanks, my first touch into the milky-white peach-soft ocean that is your skin. When we spent a night together for the first time, when you touched me and I touched you, I was sure this was the closest to heaven I would ever get.

This was the first night I felt your deep all-consuming passion directed at me and believe me, it's definitely red. Fire red. Burning hot red. You touched me with this burning hot red fire and I burnt. The passion you invoke in me, a craving I didn't even realize I had, is a never-ending flame.

I once told you that I never thought I could be so passionate as I am with you, and you kissed me and told me that someone who was drawn to battles, like me could never be a not-passionate man, because battles are another kind of passion as well. And it was my turn to laugh before we let our passion-red-hot fire consume us again.

And then there's what I love the most about you. You are an artist. An artist of colors, an artist of love and life and hope.

What I love the most is the color of your soul. That's the color of your deepest essence, the color your heart beats in, the color that flows through your veins, the color of your life, the color of your love for me. It's the basic color of your world and it's the color of my world now as well. Because you are my world.

And that is why I love your eyes, blue like sapphires. Someone once said the eyes are a window to one's soul and whoever said it, he was right. Because your soul is blue. Like your eyes, like an ocean, like the sky, like sapphires. Like everything good that can happen, because everything good is blue.

It's the color you painted my world in and I love it. And now my world is no longer black, but a perfect blue.

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The end

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A.N.: This chapter is dedicated to Ellav31, who wanted to read some romance. So here it is, the second part of the 30 kisses series. I hope you all liked it. To be honest, I don't even remember much about what I wrote, because really, this chapter almost wrote itself. I just pressed the keys. And when I read it after I was done it was as if I saw it for the first time. But I liked it.

This theme "perfect blue" was my absolute favourite theme the moment I saw it, because it is so essentially Kaoru.

Please tell me what you think and leave a review, ne? And a big Thank you to all of you who reviewed the last chapter! You are great and your praise made my day!

Until next time, Joey (aka. Diamantmaus)


	3. Surprising results

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine, all credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

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**30 kisses: Aoshi and Kaoru **

**Chapter 8 – Surprising results**

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Title: **Surprising results**  
Author/Artist: Diamantmaus aka. Joey8  
Pairing: Shinomori Aoshi and Kamiya Kaoru  
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin  
Theme: # 12: in a good mood  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Rurouni Kenshin characters. All credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

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She was in a good mood today. An exceptional good mood. In fact she was singing and humming, while she was bustling back and forth in the kitchen. Aoshi stared at her in wonder from the living room while he sat at the low table, a few papers spread out in front of him.

Sometimes is was still hard to believe for him that this life was real and not some kind of dream before he awoke to dark and cold reality. But then Kaoru had done a good job in convincing him just how real it all was.

Putting his head into his hands he looked around the room. There was much that had changed about the room, especially for him. The whole house had changed. It wasn't just a house to him anymore, nor 'just' a haven where Kaoru was always working her magic. It was more. Okay, so Kaoru was still working her magic even now, but the house wasn't a house any longer. It was home.

For the first time in his life Aoshi had a real home. A home that was not only called home, but felt like home. A place where his heart found peace and his soul could rest. This was his home, her home. The Kamiya-dojo. And yes, it was still called that way, because it still did teach the Kamiya-kasshin-ryu.

Aoshi's gaze rested on a group of framed photographs that sat on a cabinet on the far wall. On the left side was a picture of Aoshi and Kaoru at their wedding party, Kaoru dressed in a beautiful kimono in pristine white, white roses braided into her hair, him dressed in a black western tuxedo. He smiled fondly as he remembered the moment.

Then there was a picture of Kaoru's "family", taken under the sakura trees in the garden. Everyone smiling, Misao and Yahiko both wearing a big grin, Sano - with his trademark fishbone, locking Kenshin in a half-hug and almost strangling the rurouni who wore the silly oro-face. Next to Misao was Kaoru, smiling happily and hugging her pupil Yahiko from behind. Aoshi stood next to Megumi, his face expressionless because he hadn't known how to act back then. He chuckled at the memory.

There were other pictures too, each of them holding memories of happiness to him. Life with her was good and he enjoyed it to finally have a past he could remember fondly.

"Aoshi, what's so funny?" Kaoru still smiled and he motioned towards the pictures.

"Just remembering. What's with you today? You are in an exceptional good mood." He studied her while she grinned at his question.

"I'm not telling you. Only that we'll have guests for dinner." She turned back towards the task at hand.

"And tell me this one thing: Has your happiness something to do with those guests?" She grinned wider.

"Actually yes." She bustled away, leaving Aoshi to think about who those mysterious guests might be and why Kaoru was so happy about it.

Most likely it were some members of their 'family'. Yahiko maybe? She was always happy when he came for a visit. But then he remembered that he and Tsubame left to visit her parents in some small village in the north.

Maybe Sano and Megumi? But she wouldn't be that elated about it. They came to visit quite regularly, since they practically lived down the street.

Kenshin was off to wherever his assignments with the police directed him and Misao was in Kyoto and never came to visit them anyway. Maybe it was someone else after all?

Aoshi sighed and tried to concentrate on the papers again. He'd just have to wait and see.

°°°°

It was already dark outside, since it was still early spring. Still, it was surprisingly warm and a soft wind blew through the house of the Kamiya-dojo, making the wind chime ring to rival the chirping birds outside.

Aoshi sat at the porch at the back of the house, looking out into the garden that was only illuminated by the light escaping through the open shoji-door behind him. He was already dressed in a comfortable but presentable yukata and so he had the peace and quiet to sit outside and listen to the birds, the wind and Kaoru as she changed into one of her favorite kimonos.

She had been true to her words, so Aoshi still didn't know who their guests for the evening were. Not that it mattered much. They had visitors quite often. Most of the time it would be someone of their family, even Saitoh and his wife came for regular visits.

Kaoru somehow was a magnet for sword fighters who knew real darkness. Even Saitoh couldn't completely break free of her influence and that meant something. Seta Soujiro, the heavenly sword and formerly right hand of Makoto Shishio could also be seen from time to time spending a visit at her dojo.

Aoshi was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned, smiling up at his wife.

"They'll be here soon", was all she said and he nodded before he got up, returning to the living room. He cast a look around and noticed the table was already set for four people.

A knock on the wooden gate had Kaoru laughing in excitement before she hurried to open the gate for their guests. Aoshi trailed behind, waiting on the front porch to see who it was.

He watched in surprise as Misao entered, behind her a rather flustered looking Kenshin. Kaoru gave him a knowing grin and obviously said something teasing, because both he and Misao blushed, leaving Kaoru to laugh in glee. Aoshi walked silently to stand beside Kaoru.

When Misao looked up at him everyone was silent for a moment. It had been a long time since they had last seen each other. In fact after Aoshi and Kaoru had gotten married she had vehemently refused to ever see him again.

Now she stared up at him and for a moment Aoshi actually feared that she hadn't overcome her crush on him finally, but then she smiled up at him, only a barely noticeable trace of sadness left in her eyes.

"Aoshi-sama." She bowed hurriedly to him and he nodded his head in greeting.

"Long time no see, Misao-chan." She smiled sheepishly and turned towards Kenshin.

"Yes, well…"

"She was busy." Aoshi looked sharply at Kenshin who had stated the last sentence with a voice that left no room to argue and for a moment Kenshin and Aoshi stared at each other. Aoshi hadn't forgotten about Kenshin's anger, his words as he parted. And even when he had finally accepted Kaoru's and his relationship he had been very reluctant to give his blessings. Aoshi silently suspected he had just given them in the end to not hurt Kaoru's feelings.

"Why don't we go inside? I hope you both are not too tired from your journey?" Kaoru's voice was calming and broke the tension and Misao smiled at her in thanks. She ushered them all into the living room and motioned for them to sit down at the table.

"So what brings you to Tokyo?", Aoshi asked into the room, refusing to face one of them, because he feared to either hurt Misao or anger Kenshin. They both looked at each other and blushed again.

"Oh, surely you are staying for the night, don't you?" Relieved, Misao turned to Kaoru and shook her head no.

"Actually we planned to stay at Sano's and Megumi's house. They invited us both to stay there some time ago…" Kaoru was silent for a moment before she nodded in understanding. It was obvious that while Misao had overcome her crush for Aoshi she hadn't forgiven him for the distrust he had shown by neither telling her of his growing friendship with Kaoru nor, and more importantly, this friendship developing into more.

Internally, Aoshi was rather relieved at Misao's words. Kaoru always managed to break the tension again, she just had that effect. But she couldn't stop it from building up again and again.

Aoshi turned to look at his wife and found her staring intently at him. Then she turned to Kenshin.

"Ano, Kenshin. I've finished preparing most of the food already, but I just can't get some of it right. Would you help me, please?" Kenshin smiled at her while Aoshi wore a rather panicked expression. He knew she had not finished most of the food but all of it. Believe it or not, Kaoru had become a really good cook with practice and patience and she certainly didn't need help from Kenshin any longer.

So she wanted to give him and Misao some time alone to talk, catch up and smoothen out the cracks. Aoshi sighed as he watched the former hitokiri and Kaoru walking into the kitchen. Then he turned towards Misao. To his relief she wore an equally panicked expression.

"Ano… so… how have you been, Aoshi-sama?", she stuttered and fixes her gaze onto her plate.

"I've been well, thanks. And how are you?" Misao fidgeted under his stare and he remembered how Kaoru told him not to stab people with his hard gaze, because it made them uncomfortable. So he turned his gaze towards the table as well.

"I… I've been well, too…" Their was a prominent silence after this and it wasn't a comfortable one.

"So what brings you to Tokyo?" This time his gaze was not as hard, but his tone left no room to argue. He watched in surprise as Misao blushed again.

"What… what do you mean? Kaoru invited me to stay." Aoshi sighed.

"Misao-chan. As you remember, I'm her husband, so I know what she writes in her letters. She has invited you a million times already, but you never came for a visit before." Misao blushed deeper.

"Well… you see… there is a reason, but… I'll tell you later." Silence again.

"Fine. Tell me later. But why is Himura here?" This time he feared she would actually catch fire. Such deep blushing couldn't be healthy.

"Well… this may have something to do with it." Aoshi took a deep breath to question further but he didn't get the chance when the door towards the kitchen opened again and Kaoru and Kenshin came out. Both of them smiling although Kenshin looked a little flustered and Kaoru smiled like a cat who got the canary.

Whatever the big secret was, Kaoru obviously knew more than he did. Not that he minded. In fact he was almost relieved. If there was something he wouldn't like about it, Kaoru was the one who could break it to him without him getting angry.

"Shall we have dinner then? It's already late…", Kaoru asked and looked at him, the silent question of 'Are you okay?' in her eyes and he nodded, making her smile. He smiled in return, glad she was happy with him.

°°°°

They were eating in comfortable silence, although Aoshi couldn't stop his gaze from wandering back and forth between their two guests from time to time. There was something that made him suspicious, something… He couldn't name it.

Beside him, Kaoru was smiling happily, occasionally winking at Misao who smiled back almost hesitantly. Still there was something… Kaoru would most likely be able to put a name to what he felt, but he couldn't ask her now for obvious reasons. So he kept his silence and observed.

Of course he felt the look Kenshin gave him sometimes, but he didn't care all that much. Aoshi had watched really closely if Kenshin was still interested in Kaoru. After all, a man wanted to know if there was a rival, but Kenshin, although obviously still concerned for Kaoru's happiness, seemed to have only proper feelings for his wife, feelings any close friend would have. He could live with that.

When they finished and they talked again, Aoshi listened intently. When they consumed the third cup of tea and the topic – THE topic – was still avoided he had enough and sat down his cup onto the polished wooden table with a loud thud.

"That's enough. What is this all about?" His words were met by silence, Misao gazing to the floor and looking thoroughly uncomfortable, Kenshin looking first at Misao then at him as if he wanted to murder him.

Kaoru laughed silently beside him and three pairs of eyes turned to her.

"I guess it's time you come around, you two." She winked at them. "So who will break the news. Because, really, my husband is right. You really should stop beating around the bush. And if you don't tell, I will."

"So you really know?" Aoshi stared at her as she grinned.

"Well, of course I do. It was pretty obvious. Honestly, only a man couldn't notice." She kissed Aoshi's cheek in a silent apology and turned back towards the two blushing people on the other side of the table.

"Well…", Misao started and paused.

"You know…", Kenshin interrupted and stopped as well.

"It's just…" Misao again.

"Nothing much, really." Kenshin. Aoshi growled in annoyance while Kaoru chuckled again.

"Kaoru, you tell him." They both finally said in union. Aoshi turned towards his wife and waited.

"Okay, how was that again? Well… you know… it's just… nothing much, really." She grinned at Aoshi.

"Yes, and then comes the important part I guess…"

"Right. What these two idiots are trying to tell you is that they are engaged to be married. Nothing much, really." Kaoru's voice was innocent but her eyes shone with glee. Aoshi stared at her in silence before her words sank in.

"You are what?" He turned towards the two people who jumped in their seats at his voice, but Kaoru grabbed him by his chin and turned his gaze back to her.

"They are engaged. It's fine, really. You should congratulate them." He stared at his wife again before he sighed.

"Well, congratulations to you two. I wish you all the happiness you deserve." It was Misao's and Kenshin's time to stare at Aoshi in silence.

"That's it?", Misao asked, looking at Kaoru who nodded in answer.

"That's it. What did you expect? Did you think he would draw his kodachis and challenge Kenshin to a duel?" Misao blushed at her words, revealing that she had indeed thought along that line. Kaoru threw a quick gaze at her husband, who sipped his tea calmly and smiled.

"Well, I congratulate you as well, of course and wish you lots of happiness as well."

°°°°

"Come visit tomorrow again, will you? Megumi-chan and Sano wanted to come for dinner anyway", Kaoru told Misao as they stood at the gate to see their friends off. Misao nodded happily and waved at Kaoru and Aoshi before she linked arms with Kenshin and walked off into the direction of Sano's home. Aoshi closed the gate and followed Kaoru inside. Wordlessly they both sat down on the table again before another cup of tea.

"So what do you think about it?" Kaoru's voice was calm and he finally relaxed, the tension leaving his shoulders.

"It's fine, I guess. I was… rather surprised, I admit. But now that I thought about it… They may actually be a good match." Kaoru nodded at his words.

"I think so too." They both were silent for a moment.

"Do you think Misao is… well, you know, over me?" Kaoru looked at him and smiled softly.

"I wondered if you thought the same. Well actually, I think she may still sometimes think how life would have been were she to be with you, but I think she sees things more realistic than before. Maybe she even realized that the two of you wouldn't have worked out in the end. In fact I'm almost certain she knows that, but still it's hard to admit it even to yourself sometimes, right?" Aoshi nodded silently.

"I'm glad."

"It's the same with Kenshin and me. We never would have worked out as well. I need someone who can stand up to me." She winked at Aoshi and he grinned in return.

"I'm almost curious how these two will work out in the future…" Kaoru chuckled at his words and leaned over to kiss him softly.

"I bet they'll be just as happy as we are." He smiled down at her and took her into his arms.

"Exactly as happy as we are?", he whispered into her ear, before he kissed her for real, deeply, demanding and long. When Kaoru finally answered his question her voice was a mere whisper and her eyes sparkled with love and something deeper that had Aoshis heart speed up in anticipation.

"Well, maybe not exactly as happy as we are. But close." Then she stood up and lead him towards their room.

°°°°

The end

°°°°

A.N.: Here is chapter 3. I'm rather satisfied how this turned out, especially since the idea to this story wouldn't leave me alone for quite some time now. So I'm glad I could finally write it.

Sorry for the long delay, but I there were some major changes in my life in the last few weeks and it all became a little too much. But now I'm back and I hope you can forgive me and enjoyed this chapter.

Please tell me what you thought and leave a review, ne?

Until next time, Joey aka. Diamantmaus


	4. Heartbeat

**Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine, all credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

**Note:** Takes place some time after chapter 1

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**30 kisses: Aoshi and Kaoru**

**Chapter 4 - Heartbeat**

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Title: Heartbeat  
Author/Artist: Diamantmaus aka. Joey8  
Pairing: Shinomori Aoshi and Kamiya Kaoru  
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin  
Theme: # 17: kilohertz  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Rurouni Kenshin characters. All credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

**°°°°°°°°°**

Nothing had changed. Nothing at all. The same houses. The same people. The same restaurants that give off the same scent of food. The same sun was shining above. Always the same. Like him. Like his darkness. Still the same darkness. It hadn't changed. Nothing had changed about him. Nothing at all.

Aoshi sighed and turned a corner towards the Aoiya. Everything still was the same. Kyoto, just like it had ever been to him. And he hadn't changed as well. He was like Kyoto, that didn't change. Darkness.

But then maybe he was wrong. Somehow, something had changed. Not about Kyoto. But about him. A small change and not even a change for the better, but a change. He was worse. Worse than he had been in Tokyo, darker, even more lost. And now he couldn't even see his way back. He was lost in a tangled web of darkness, emotions and wishes that could never come true.

It had been weeks since he had talked to her and weeks since she brought the last flash of light into his darkness. Back then, in Tokyo, he had still been able to see a path out of his darkness, even though he knew it wasn't an easy path. But now he didn't even see it anymore. He had lost it. The path. The light. Hope.

In the depth of the night he thought about his future, and the prospect of a life in darkness wasn't too appealing. Sometimes he wished he could go back. Back to Tokyo. Back to her. So she could shine her light again, make him see. But he couldn't. He couldn't return to her as long as he hadn't found his answer. Or the path to that answer, that was.

The answer, she had given him already. Strength of the heart. That was the answer. Her answer. It was as easy and as difficult as this. Now all he had to do was search for the path that would lead him to this answer, her truth. But he couldn't find it. And the more he searched, the more he lost himself. And that's why he couldn't go back to her. He hadn't been able to fulfill her wish. It had been her wish for him, an unspoken request. And he hadn't been able to fulfill it. Not that he was giving up, but he was losing hope.

He rounded another corner and walked down the street. It was warm and the sun was shining, but Aoshi didn't even feel it. All he could think about was the path and her answer. As long as he couldn't find the path to her answer, he had to live his own truth, even if it was wrong. He had to find Battousai.

Somehow Aoshi was scared. He was scared of his own truth. Should he ever meet Battousai and defeat him for real, he would be lost for ever. Lost in a tangled web of darkness. He would be a demon, a being that lost its way back out of the darkness. And then it would be too late.

He needed to see her one last time before he fought with Battousai. To thank her for the answer even if he hadn't been able to find the path.

When he bumped into a young boy he looked up, staring into the familiar face of the pick-pocket boy from her dojo. Yahiko was his name? And then he felt her presence. He didn't turn towards her, just stood there in her presence that was soothing and calming. Aoshi understood why Battousai enjoyed her company. If there was a medicine for broken souls, it's name would be Kamiya Kaoru.

But then he didn't have a soul. And if he did, it was made of ice anyway. Still her presence was soothing to him and he reveled in the feeling of light she emitted. He could feel her eyes on him and as usual he felt oddly naked under her gaze, as if she was able to look directly into his soul.

The spell was broken when the boy gasped and took a step backwards. Aoshi didn't look at him, just walked on. Towards the Aoiya. Even if he had no intention of entering it. He should try to find a place for the night. It was getting dark soon.

He stopped when he heard footsteps behind him and gripped his sword tighter. Before he could draw it though he recognized her again, felt her hand on his back.

"Look at me." He hesitated but turned around anyway. Then he stared at her, into those familiar sapphire eyes, and he felt ashamed and relieved at the same time. She reached up towards his face and for a moment he thought she would strike him. When he just felt the soft touch of her hand on his cheek, his eyes flew open and he stood still like a mouse under the caress of the cat that would kill him in the end.

"You were hurt." He didn't need to ask what she was talking about. She understood. As usual she understood everything. This woman wasn't like others. This woman understood, because she had the heart of a samurai as well, a fighter's spirit. How could he ever have thought that she wouldn't welcome him back with open arms just because he hadn't found the answer yet.

He closed his eyes and for a moment he let himself get lost in her touch, the soft caress of her hand on his face, his chin, his cheek, along his temple to push some stray strands of hair out of his eyes. And then she touched his lips, her fingers so soft and hesitating as a lover's caress, a first kiss and he opened his eyes to look at her.

Without conscious thought he reached out to her, towards her face, her cheek. But he didn't dare to touch her, just caressed the shadow of her face that fell onto his hand. She smiled and he came to his senses. He pulled back from her immediately as if burned, taking three steps back to put some distance between them. And she smiled even more, before she turned serious again.

"Meet me here again, midnight, tomorrow." And then she turned and left without looking back, without waiting for his answer. She didn't need to, he realized. She understood. As usual. She knew he would be there. And he breathed a sigh of relief as he turned as well and walked into the opposite direction, for the first time in weeks enjoying the sun in his face and the tingling sensation where her hand had caressed him. And for the first time he understood what it meant to be 'touched by an angel'.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

He wasn't late for their meeting. In fact he was early. Somehow he had felt restless and so he decided to leave sooner than was necessary. And so he stood here, at what he in his mind referred to as 'their place' now, waiting.

He felt her presence before he saw her, but he knew that she hadn't bothered with hiding it. She knew that, even if for her friends he was a more than dangerous enemy, for her he didn't represent a threat. Even he wasn't far gone enough to kill the only one who understood him.

"Kamiya-san." His voice was even now, carefully spoken, so she'd know how much he appreciated her efforts.

"Shinomori-san." She stopped before him, her body only an arm-length away and he could see the moonlight reflecting in her eyes, the soft light illuminating her pair of sapphires to perfection.

"You didn't find your answer yet." Her voice was soft, almost a whisper, but he could hear her every word. If his soul wasn't made of ice, he would have said her words cut right into his very soul. His soul of ice. But words didn't cut through ice like this. Still those words hurt in some way.

"No… not yet." His voice was equally soft and he turned away, looking up into the black night sky. She was silent for a long time and he didn't dare break the silence.

"You are still searching, though?" He felt her hand on his arm, drawing him around so he was looking at her again. Her gaze was penetrating and he admired the hope and passion that lay in her eyes.

"I think… it's too late." Her eyes didn't hold any emotions at all and he looked away again. "I'm sorry."

He sighed as his words, his soft but heartfelt apology was met by heavy silence and he turned around again, starting to walk away from her. He would just leave, would just leave her, his only chance of redemption. Because he couldn't keep his promise.

"What do you need?" He hadn't expected her to speak again and he stopped in his tracks. "What do you need to not give up?" His shoulders slumped under the onslaught of emotions her simple question released in him and he turned around to look at her in defeat.

"I don't know. A light maybe. To show me where to go. I want to find the path to your answer, my truth. But I can't do this right now." She looked at him and nodded in understanding.

"I thought so." She smiled at him and he stared back at her.

"Why do you understand? No one does." She blinked and looked up towards the stars for a moment, thinking about her answer and he waited patiently.

"To be honest, I'm not sure why. I just… do. It's the same about seeing a rainbow, or a shooting star. You just know that you saw something beautiful. You don't fully understand its meaning, but you know you were given a gift, a precious gift. And some gifts shouldn't be questioned." She smiled at him again.

"So in the end, what do you need?", she asked and when he spoke his voice was husky with suppressed emotions.

"I need something to hold onto… something that is worth fighting for." He sank to his knees and his sword clattered to the ground as he heard his own voice admitting to his heart's deepest desire. So maybe he had a heart after all. In a split second she was before him, her arms thrown around his neck as she drew him against her body, his face pressed against her stomach.

And just in this instance did Aoshi realizes that – even though she may not realize it herself - she was giving him what he had asked for. Something to hold onto. A reason. A reason to live. A reason that was worth fighting for. And in this moment of realization he felt hot tears in his eyes, felt them trickle down his cheek and soak into the silk of her kimono as he pressed his face into her stomach.

His arms went around her, his hands burying themselves into the cloth of her kimono. The clasp of a drowning man, the grip of a lost child, a call for help. And help he got as she sank down to her knees before him and hugged him tightly. Had someone of her friends seen her, they would never have believed their own eyes as the okashira clutched the young woman to him, his face pressed against her neck as his tears trickled down her shoulder. And she just held him, smoothing his hair and whispering soft words into his ear, words of understanding.

It was a moment so full of emotions it seemed timeless, unearthly and without questioning her motives, Aoshi drew every ounce of strength she offered. But even this moment had to come to an end and so Aoshi drew back slightly, looking at her without being ashamed of his tears. And she smiled at him and leaned forward.

For an instance their lips met in a kiss, so soft and sweet that Aoshi almost thought he might be dreaming if it wasn't for the knowledge that it was very real. She drew back slightly and smiled.

"Something to hold onto", she whispered and she was still so close that her breath caressed his lips as she spoke and he could feel the warmth of her body. Without thought he leaned forwards and kissed her again, touching his lips to hers for a moment, shortly, hesitantly, but it was enough.

"Thank you." He helped her up to her feet again and she smiled. He turned to leave but stopped. He hadn't said everything he wanted to, yet.

"Kamiya-san?" She looked at him expectantly.

"Yes, Shinomori-san?"

"If I get the chance… if I can, I'll come back. And then I'll try to find the answer." She nodded in understanding.

"You should try to find your heart as well, Shinomori-san. I… I'll be waiting. And don't be afraid to fail. This quest of yours was never easy and failures are perfectly normal. That's fine as long as you don't give up." He nodded after a moment of silence.

"Why are you helping me?" His gaze was intense.

"Because you are worth fighting for. And I won't give up on you as long as there still is a chance." She smiled and he answered her with a real honest smile of his own.

"You know, should I find my heart in the process, it's yours anyway. Not only because without your help I would never have been able to find it." She grinned.

"So I could convince you that you _do_ have a heart after all?" Her voice was soft, caressing, like her kiss had been only moments before.

"Yes. I think that maybe after all I do have one." He pulled something out of his pocket and pushed it into her hand. When she looked down she saw a bracelet with four small insignias.

"Those are… were my friends signs. Each member of the Oniwabanshu has such a sign… Would you… take care of those for me until I come back?" She nodded and he helped her to lay the bracelet around her neck.

"I hope you'll find your answer soon, Shinomori-san… Be careful." He nodded and reached out to caress her cheek softly before he turned around and with a quick jump was out of her sight. He wasn't the okashira of the Oniwabanshu for nothing.

Kaoru stared into the direction he left and gripped the bracelet around her neck, closing her hand around the four insignias.

"I'll be waiting. Come back safely, Aoshi." Then she turned and left.

In the shadow of a tree, Aoshi watched and smiled at her soft words.

"I promise, Kaoru."

°°°°°°°

The end

°°°°°°°

A.N.: Hey there, I hope you all had a merry christmas. I had a really good time and I'm glad for the holidays because university is like hell this time of the semester.

Anyway, back to topic:

Yay, another chapter done. I hope you liked it, even though I guess it turned out another POV-chapter… kind of. Somehow the middle of this theme worked out quite different than I intended it to. I never planned this kiss at all, but I like it just the way it is.

Please tell me what you think and leave a review, ne?

Until next time, Joey-chan


	5. Everything

**Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine, all credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

°°°°°°°°°

**30 kisses: Aoshi and Kaoru **

**Chapter 5 – Everything**

°°°°°°°°°

Title: **Everything**  
Author/Artist: Diamantmaus aka. Joey8  
Pairing: Shinomori Aoshi and Kamiya Kaoru  
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin  
Theme: # 05: "ano sa"  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Rurouni Kenshin characters. All credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

°°°°°°°°°°

Today was the day. _The_ day. Today was the day, where Shinomori Aoshi's life would be changed for ever. There were days in the life of a human being when a simple gesture could change everything. Your whole life could change in the blink of an eye on one of these days. And Aoshi had decided that today was the day to change his life. For ever. And hopefully for the better.

Not that life hadn't been kind to him this past weeks, month, even years. But today he wanted to make it even better.

Life was kind and hopeful and perfect since she had entered it. Kamiya Kaoru. His light, his hope, his peace. The woman he loved. And –more surprisingly- the woman who loved him back.

Falling in love with Kaoru was easy, loving her was even easier. She was so open-minded, so forgiving, so full of hope and love to give. To him she was everything. She had been the one to help him keep his sanity when he lost himself in a self-knitted web of guilt, hate and pain. She had been the one to not only stop his fast decent into darkness, had not only shown him the path back into the light, but she had taken him by the hand and guided him back.

Over the time she had not only become the most trusted confidante he had, but she had become a friend. The best friend he could have wished for. And they still were friends. But their relationship had soon become more tangled as he realized that he was falling in love quicker than he could say her name.

And falling in love with her was easy. She accepted him when noone did. She talked to him when he needed it the most. She stayed by his side when everyone else had long ago abandoned him. She didn't question him when she knew his answer already. And she understood him better than he understood himself sometimes.

And so their relationship had gotten deeper one day when he had finally worked up the courage to confess his feelings for her. And surprisingly she had not only accepted his love for her, but she reciprocated his feelings. When he looked back upon his past, he didn't remember a single moment where he had been so completely on a loss for words as he had been when Kaoru said those four words: 'I love you too.' This had been his best moment so far and from there on it only got better.

But now was the time to make their life even better – hopefully. Today was the day to change their lives, their relationship for ever. Because today was the day where Shinomori Aoshi wanted to propose to Kamiya Kaoru… Hopefully she would be Shinomori Kaoru soon, that is!

He grinned to himself at the giddy feeling that took hold of his heart when he thought about this. Shinomori Kaoru. It sounded great, as if she was born to have this name. His name. No more 'Battousai's woman', although he hadn't heard this in quite some time. It was widely known that 'Battousai's woman' had never been 'Battousai's woman' in the first place and rather was 'Shinomori's woman'.

And now he wanted to rightfully let her be called 'his' woman. He wanted to make her his wife.

Never in his whole life had he imagined that someday he would even wish to marry. In fact he had imagined his life to be rather lonely. He had imagined a life in solitude, no other people to bother him, the occasional appearance of an enemy, a fight or two and then solitude again until he died eighter an old man when he was to weak to hold his kodachis anymore or in battle, wounded deadly by one of his enemies.

Never had he imagined to find someone like Kaoru in his life, even though maybe it was the other way round. She found him, more or less. And she was the one to work hard on him to draw him back to the light, to life, to hope. It was all thanks to her in the end.

Aoshi pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it. He sighed a heavy sigh as he looked inside. Aoshi was nervous. Yes, he admitted as much, he was. His heart was slamming hard in his chest and his hands were damp. Even though this morning he had been fairly confident that she would say yes, the nearer the moment was the more he started to doubt it.

What did he have to offer to her? In fact there was little more than himself he could give to her. So he had some money laid back, but it hadn't been much and quite a generous amount of it had been spent on the ring that rested innocently inside it's box. He didn't have a house of his own, since practically all his life he had lived at the Aoiya. And he wasn't even the guy who was easy to love. He had a dark past and sometimes it was all too clear that you weren't dealing with a nice next-door man but a hard and gruesome fighter, a killer.

Aoshi sighed again and stared down at the ring inside the box. It was perfect for her, just like she was perfect for him. It was silver, with a single stone of shining blue sapphire. It was beautiful, but it would only shine to perfection when it was placed upon her finger.

Jewelery was beautiful on it's own, but it only got perfect through the feelings and promises it was given for.

For the third time now Aoshi sighed and closed the box again, carefully hiding it inside his pocket again. Today was the day.

"Aoshi?" He nearly jumped as he heard her voice behind him. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he headn't heard her approaching footsteps. With a smile he turned and it took his breath away as he saw her. She wore her new kimono that she had only purchased a week ago. He had been there when she had bought it, had even given his opinion on it but somehow seeing it on her was different from seeing the garment in a store.

"Kaoru. You look… beautiful." She blushed as his sincere tone and looked away.

"It's just the kimono." He shook his head as he smiled and guided her towards the entrance.

"It's not just the kimono. I admit, it's a very nice wrapping for a beautiful woman though." He winked at her and she smiled at him lovingly.

"Now what is so important that you have to take me out to dinner today. In my best kimono no less. And yourself dressed up as well." She looked him up and down intently and nodded in satisfaction. Her boyfriend was a handsome man. He really was. Especially as he blushed slightly at her words.

She smiled to herself. Aoshi had always been an open book to her. She had read his emotions and understood them as easily as if they were her own. And now Shinomori Aoshi, fighter extra ordinary, okashira of the oniwaban-shu was nervous. Now she only had to find out what this was all about.

"It's a surprise… A good one, I hope." His tone was final and she didn't ask further, just walked alongside his path in silence until they reached a western style restaurant Kaoru had never been to before. It looked rather expensive. She looked up at him sceptically and wondered what this look of determination on his face could mean.

"We are not going into battle, are we?" She grinned at his perplex expression.

"What?"

"It's just… you look as if you are about to enter a battle. Such determination." She laughed as he stared at her in silence and finally he chuckled.

"Not a battle, no." He laid an arm around her shoulders and they entered.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

They had eaten in comfortable silence that was only occasionally disturbed by a few soft spoken words. The food had been excellent and perfectly prepared and Kaoru found herself thoroughly enjoying the evening.

Now however she was getting annoyed. After dinner they had nursed a small bit of sake. Really just a little bit since neighter one of them had a high tolerance for alcohol. And now they both were sitting before a cup of perfectly brewed green tea and Kaoru was getting impatient with Aoshi. She knew he was nervous about something and he wanted to talk to her about a really important topic –his words as he had invited her to this dinner- and now he just didn't talk. It was frustrating.

Maybe he needed a little push into the right direction after all. And so she pushed.

"Aoshi?"

"Huh?" He nearly jumped at her words and stared at her.

"What did you want to talk about?" And now she could only wait until he had seached for the right words. And she could see that he was doing just that. And she waited.

"Well… you know…", he stammered and coughed slightly. Then he stood up abruptly and walked around the table, the familiar look of determination back on his face. He stopped next to her chair and she stared up at him in wonder. Then she gasped as he gripped one of her hands and got down to one knee beside her.

"Kaoru, we have been together for some time now and never before in my life have I been more happy than I am with you by my side. I can't imagine a life without you anymore and I can't say how much I love you often enough to express how deep my feelings for you are. You are everything to me. You are my past, my present and I very much want you to be my future as well… Kaoru, would you give me the great honor of becoming my wife?" At his last words he drew out the small box out of his pocket and opened it for her to see his ring.

Never in his whole life had Aoshi imagined that a single moment could strech like a lifetime. But right now he lived this lifetime in a single moment. He waited. Waited for her to laugh in his face, even though he knew she would never do this. But still… He waited for his world to come crashing down, for destiny to slap his hope, his love, his words back into his face how it had done so often before. But most of all he waited for her to say yes. This was his hope, his wish, his desire. A heart's deepest wish.

The lifetime-moment ended as she suddenly threw herself into his arms, her arms flowing around his neck, sending her chair crashing to the ground and him almost tumbling backwards had it not been for his quick reflexes.

"Yes", she said and for a moment he feared that he had imagined it. "Yes, yes, yes. A thousand times yes." She smiled and kissed his cheek and finally he understood that her words were the answer to his prayers, the answer to his heart's deepest wish. The answer to his question. It was Yes. As simple as that. Yes.

He closed his arms aound her and pressed his face into her neck, inhaling her beloved scent of jasmine and just Kaoru.

"Really?" The question was out before he thought about it, but he had to be sure. He drew back and stared deeply into her eyes. Blue sapphires.

"Really." She smiled at him and her eyes were so full of honesty that Aoshi didn't doubt the truth of her answer for a moment. He smiled at her. A perfect, honest, real smile that was mostly reserved for her. Because she was his happiness, his reason to smile. And then he leaned down to kiss her and for a long moment they both were lost in this kiss full of love and promises.

When he drew back again, he pushed some stray strands of hair out of her eyes and smiled.

"I love you." And she answered with a smile of her own. A smile of love.

"I love you too, Aoshi." For a moment he stared into her sapphire eyes, enjoying the displayed emotions in the blue depths of it. Then he remembered his ring and pulled his arm between them. He carefully took the ring out of the box and reached for her hand.

"May I?" She hold her hand out to him and nodded.

"Of course." He didn't look away for a single moment as he slid the ring onto her finger and they both smiled. When their lips met for another kiss, both of them knew that their future only could be good. Because they would face it together. Side by side. How it was always meant to be.

And on her finger the ring shone to perfection.

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The end

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A.N.: First of all, I apologize that it took me so lang to update. I have been terribly busy -still am- and just forgot about it. Furthermore I apologize for any mistake in there, because as you may have noticed, this chapter is not beta-es. I don't know if there will be a beta-ed version up any time soon, so I hope my mistakes are not too bad.

Please tell me what you thought about this story and leave a review, ne?

Until next time, Joey aka. Diamantmaus


	6. The past that binds us

**Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine, all credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

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30 kisses: Aoshi and Kaoru

Chapter 6 – The past that binds us

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Title: **The past that binds us**  
Author/Artist: Diamantmaus aka. Joey8  
Pairing: Shinomori Aoshi and Kamiya Kaoru  
Fandom: Rurouni Kenshin  
Theme: # 13: excessive chains  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Rurouni Kenshin characters. All credit goes to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This story is written just for fun, no money made.

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I walked down the familiar path that lead towards the Kamiya-dojo. The moon shone brightly and illuminated the path as I rounded the last corner. Finally the dojo was in sight. I sighed in relief and walked the remaining distance to the gates. The Kamiya-dojo was where peace was, where quite was. Where Kaoru was.

I was not terribly tired since I was well-trained, as could be expected of the oniwaban-shu's okashira, but still it wasn't my favourite thing to walk in the middle of the night. So it was a relief to finally knock softly onto the well-polished wood.

Only a minute later, quick footsteps rushed in my direction and the gate was opened. Of course it didn't come as a surprise to see Battousai behind the door. I was able to sense his ki, just like him, so we both had known from the start who was one the other side. As such Himura's eyes didn't hold a trace of surprise, but still he stared at me intently.

"Shinomori. What are you doing here… in the middle of the night no less." He was fully dressed and for a moment I wondered if he ever got out of those ridiculous clothes. Which man voluntarily wore a pink gi for heaven's sake?

"Can I come in?", I just asked shortly although the tone of my voice was slightly harsh, reveiling my annoyance. Himura didn't move for a long moment, saying without words how much he would actually like to tell me to go away. Then he opened the door wider for me, but otherwise remained silent, his eyes sharp as the katana he once held. Back than when the blade wasn't flipped to the back yet. He closed the door behind me with an all to noticeable thud. He wasn't happy about my presence, I could tell.

Not that I blamed him. It wasn't a secret that he was in love with Kaoru and until some time ago he didn't have a rival for her attention. But now he had and it was not even one of his friends but one of his former enemies. Me.

So maybe I didn't represent a treat to him as an enemy on the battle field anymore, because we had reached an understanding. I wouldn't call us friends, certainly not. More along the lines of acquiantance.

We had a common base and that was fighting. We both knew how it was to fight, to kill, to nearly lose yourself in the darkness. I had been there not so long ago. He had been there as well but it was some time before I even reached that edge. The edge of sanity.

And so we had another common base. We both were drawn back to the light by a woman. For Himura it had been his wife. I don't know the whole story, only what Kaoru told me in her letters, just that she died protecting him and that she completed his cross-scar. Still, even though Tomoe stopped Himura's decent into darkness, he had been left balanceing on the edge and it was Kaoru who pulled him back. Like she did with me.

And that's why I stood beside Himura now, inside the Kamiya-dojo, completely unannounced in the middle of the night. I needed some peace and quite. And peace was where Kaoru was.

Over the time we had become friends and I knew she would never let me down, just as I would never let her down.

"I ask once more, Shinomori. What are you doing here?" His voice held a growl now and I was about to answer with a cutting remark of my own when I heard a shoji-door being slid open and we both turned to see Kaoru.

Obviously she had been awoken by either my knocking or our voices. She was tossled from sleep, the yukata she had quickly thrown over was inside out and her eyes still shone with sleep-induced peace. She was endearing, beautiful like an angel –an angle who had just woken up- as the moon illuminated her black hair and her sapphire eyes.

"Kaoru-san." I smiled at her and she smiled back as she saw me.

"Aoshi. Come inside. I'll get a room ready for you." Without another word she turned and walked deeper into the house, leaving the door wide open for me. I smiled at her words. In her sleepy state she hadn't even noticed that she had dropped the honorific and just used my name. She didn't noticed, but I did. And Himura did as well, but I didn't pay attention to him as he kept eerily silent and I entered the house, feeling Himura's piercing stare in my back.

Following the sounds of rummaging I walked down the corridor until I reached the room beside Yahiko's and in silence I watched as she laid out a futon for me and spread the blankets over it.

"Do you need anything else, Aoshi-san? Should I have Kenshin prepare you a bath or do you want something to eat?" I smiled and shook my head no.

"No, I'll be fine. Thank you, Kaoru-san." She smiled at me before she turned to leave.

"Well then. Good night, Aoshi-san." She closed the door after I quickly wished her a good night as well. With a sigh I turned around towards the futon and hastily shed my clothes to go to sleep. This was all I needed right now. Sleep and peace. And not even Yahiko's rather loud snoring could stop my quick decent into the land of dreams.

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I woke up early as usual. In Kyoto I would always start my sword training in the early hours of the morning. In the noisy Aoiya this was usually the quitest time of the day. The only time where not at least two people were constantly following you. And while I trained my sword skills I needed to concentrate, which I just couldn't do when I was being watched like a hawk. Kenpo training I normally absolved with the others after noon though.

As I dressed in my gi and hakama, I thought about changing this routine for the duration of my stay in Tokyo. Kaoru's dojo was a lot quiter than the Aoiya and if I requested peace to train, everyone would respect this wish. This house was full of sword fighters after all.

Still I decided to follow my routine, since I was awake now anyway. Grabbing my kodachis and a towel, I left the house. The sun was rising brightly outside, bathing the landscape in golden light as I walked towards the dojo. A battling cry and the swishing sound of a wooden sword told me that someone else was already using the dojo and from the ki and the familiar scent that still hung in the air I knew it was Kaoru herself.

I silently opened the door so as not to disturb her and watched as she started another rather complicated kata. Another hissing sound as she swung her sword in a circular motion. Her movements were fast, much faster than I expected them to be. Surely she could hold her own against a wide range of opponents. No wonder she had defeated Kamatari.

I softly cleared my throat so she knew she was being watched and she turned around, a brillant smile on her face as soon as she saw me.

"Aoshi-san. Good morning. Did you sleep well?" I grinned and nodded.

"Good morning. I slept very well, thank you. Am I disturbing your morning training?" I looked at her intently then stared around the training hall as if I saw it for the first time.

"Not really, I'm almost finished anyway. You are up early though. I didn't expect you to wake before noon, since you arrived so late. But habits die hard, right?" She smiled and turned back towards the task at hand, going through another kata with swishing sword and whirling movements.

She really was beautiful, especially when she wilded her sword. No wonder she was popular with the male kendo students. It wasn't everyday you would see a young woman holding a sword – and a beautiful one at that. The picture she made was unique and enticing, her hair flowing out behind her, eyes gleaming with a look of determination while she concentrated on the movements.

I closed my eyes and just listened. Outside the birds were singing, I could hear the distant gurgling of the river and the wind rushing through the leaves of the sakura trees behind the dojo. I listened to the swishing sound of Kaoru's wooden sword and the rustling of her clothes as she moved. When I listened very carefully, I even heard Yahiko's soft snoring in his room. Nothing else. No rushing footsteps, no crying, no guests downstairs. Just home. It was peace.

I smiled as I remembered my sudden entrance yesterday night. It was pretty obvious that Himura wasn't thrilles to have me stay here. Yahiko and Sano didn't even know about it yet. And Kaoru had been… just Kaoru. She welcomed me with open arms into her home and she hadn't even questioned my arrival. She knew I would talk about it when I was ready and she was paitient enough to not press the matter.

A final heavy swish could be heard and then nothing, the end of Kaoru's training. I opened my eyes again and looked at her as she streched slightly to lose a knot in her shoulders.

"You should take a hot bath to relax your muscles." She smiled at me and nodded.

"I'll just do that. Take your time. Kenshin usually has breakfast ready in about two hours, Yahiko is still sleeping and Sano doesn't show up before the meals, so you should have all the peace you need." She nodded once and left the dojo, quietly closing the door behind her. I silently thanked her for her observance and sensitivity before I started with my training.

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"Good morning", I greeted the rest of the Kamiya-dojo inhabitants I hadn't seen since I came here, namely Sano and Yahiko. Obviously Kaoru had told them about my stay here, because Yahiko just reciprocated my greeting before he helped himself to a generous portion of rice. Sano liftet his hand in silent greeting, only Kenshin still glared at me from behind his bangs.

Kaoru was the only one who smiled at me and motioned for me to sit down beside her, a place that normally was reserved for Kenshin, but today he had chosen to sit down opposite of me. To have a better angle to kill me with looks and watch my every move, I guess.

Breakfast was good as usual and rather quiet after Kaoru realized that today she wouldn't get more than 'yes' and 'no' out of Kenshin and finally gave up. She sighed and turned to me.

"Would you join me for a cup of tea later today, Aoshi-san?" She stared at me intently and I nodded after I thought about it for a moment.

"Of course, Kaoru-san. I'd like that." We both knew this wasn't about tea at all. The real question from her was 'Are you ready to tell me why you are here yet?'. But still I appreaciated the gesture. It was easier to talk over a cup of tea and I enjoyed her company. She had a right to ask for my motives, although I knew she didn't really care. She was just curious.

Kaoru wasn't a woman who judged someone by his past, otherwise she most definitely wouldn't live with a killer, a pick-pocket and a fighter for higher. And she wouldn't open her house towards a killing kenpo-fighter who once tried to kill one of her friends. She was in fact the most forgiving person I have ever met and it was what saved me from myself.

"Would you like to go into town with me later, Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin was glaring at me and smiling at Kaoru at the same. His message was clear and easy. 'Just because you are here doesn't mean you can keep her all to yourself. Keep off.' Kaoru blinked at Kenshin's somewhat biting tone. Sano sighed silently and internally I agreed with him.

Sano was like an older brother to Kaoru and he watched out for her. He took his self-claimed task serious and as such watched every male human being in close contact with Kaoru like a hawk. Of course he had known about Kenshin's feelings for Kaoru and he often told the former hitokiri to finally act upon them, but Kenshin hadn't listened. Kaoru told me that once Sano had told her to either corner Kenshin about his feelings or give up on him and search for someone who could muster the courage to confess his love somewhere this life-time.

Kaoru looked at me and I knew about her inner dilemma. Town meant shopping and shopping usually was done during the day, which meant she wouldn't be able to have this talk with me until after dinner.

Surprising it was Yahiko who came to her rescue. From all of those Kaoru considered family, Yahiko was most likely the one who held the less grudge against me. If Kaoru was happy, he was happy. It was as simple as that.

"I can go with you, Kenshin. There's a lot on the list today, so I better come. I'm a man and women shouldn't carry that much." Kenshin nodded grudgingly and smiled a fake smile. Kaoru smiled at him while Sano told about his friend who he wanted to visit today.

"Ah, that means we have the dojo all to ourselves, ne, Aoshi-san?" For a moment I feared the harmless rurouni would actually go Battousai on me. Not that I was afraid of his alter ego, but I didn't appreciate fights over the breakfast table. I just nodded at Kaoru and smiled slightly.

"Would you like more tea, Shinomori-san?" Kenshin emphasized the use of my last name and reached over for my cup, gripping it hard enough to almost make it crack. I almost had to grin.

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She watched silently as I poured her a cup of green tea, brewed to perfection. We sat outside in front of the house on the porch since we decided it was more comfortable to sit in the warm sunshine rather than inside. Kaoru took her cup with a smile and leaned back to stare at the garden. I leaned back as well and stared up into the peaceful scenery.

The garden was still beautiful although a little wild. The sakura trees were still lush, a soft breeze moving the green leaves and making a wind chime ring softly. The maple had already started to change colors to its typical burning red. A few birds were hopping from branch to branch and a koi jumped in the pond. It was peace at its finest and I relaxed completely, closing my eyes for a moment.

After a long moment I took a deep breath and started to talk. I told her everything, starting from the main reason why I came here – for peace. She chuckled softly as I described how Misao constantly followed me whereever I went and that I felt as if I was suffocating from her constant questioning and talking and 'Aoshi-sama'-s.

"She does it because she cares for you." I sighed deeply and stared into my cup as if it held the answers to all questions of the world.

"I know she does and I care for her as well, just not the way she wants me to. It's just… She thinks she's in love with me." Kaoru turned to look at me.

"Do you think that's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong with being in love. But she isn't in love with me. She's in love with some imaginary perfect-me, something I never was and never will be. She doesn't want to see the darkness in me. For her, I'm just a shining hero who could never do anything wrong." I paused for a moment and took a sip from the tea.

"The truth is, I have made a lot of mistakes. Misao has built herself an image of me, a dream, that I, being how and who I really am, could never even come close to compare to… If I were to start a relationship with her, she would be terribly hurt someday when she realizes that I'm nothing like her dream."

"That's why you won't start a relationship?"

"Of course not. I don't have those kind of feelings for her. You know I don't. Someone who is still searching for his own heart cannot love like this. Besides, I just can't have… intimate contact with someone whose diapers I've changed, for heaven's sake." This time Kaoru laughed out loudly and I joined her after a moment. It was just so relaxing to talk to someone who understood me.

"I can understand that, I guess." She turned serious again. "How long are you planning to stay? Not that I want to kick you out or something. You are welcome to stay as long as you want, but I fear that Misao is rather worried and will start a searching-party for you soon." I sighed because I knew her words to be true.

"I'll stay just a few days, then I'll go back… If that's okay with you?" I looked at her as she drank her tea and then she nodded.

"Of course it's fine. But how do you want to deal with this in the future?"

"The past always comes back to haunt you, right?" I sighed heavily and she laughed at my grave expression.

"Not always, but it's the past that binds us to our pathes into the future." I thought about her words for a moment.

"You are right. And once I get back, I have some serious path-changing to do." She looked at me intently.

"Don't be too hard on her. She hasn't realized yet that the Aoshi-sama she believes herself to be in love with doesn't exist, yet." I nodded at her words and finished my tea.

"Thank you, Kaoru-san." I slowly took her hand and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it in gratitude. "Now, how about a friendly sparring?" She grinned at me and jumped to her feet.

"I'll be right back!" I laughed at her eager response and went to my room myself to change back into my training clothes. Once I got back to Kyoto I would have to talk to Misao. But right now, I just enjoyed the peace that Kaoru had to offer.

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The end

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A.N.: So this is the next part. I'm not entirely satisfied how this turned out, but I hope you still like it.

Please tell me what you thought and leave a review, ne?

Until next time, Joey-chan


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